Home > news > Famous International Actor Is The Latest To Die From The Swine Flu Outbreak.

Famous International Actor Is The Latest To Die From The Swine Flu Outbreak.

We here at the masernaut blog would like to regretfully inform our readers that a famous international actor, by the name of Kermit Frog, had unfortunately passed away this morning at approximately 5:17 am EST at his estate of 3 Sesame Street, NY.

R.I.P. Mr. K. Frog.

R.I.P. Mr. K. Frog.

A good friend of his had relayed the message to use via text message that he had passed away painfully in his cot surrounded by a slew of friends and family (most notably Big “Bubba” Bird and his college buddies, the Budweiser frogs) whilst being in a great deal of pain – vomiting, coughing, and a bad case of bloody diarrhea.  He also informed us that there may be murder charges laid against a former associate of his, known only as Ms. Piggy of no fixed address.

The whore known as Ms. Piggy which has taken our beloved Kermit away from us.

The whore known as Ms. Piggy which has taken our beloved Kermit away from us. Photo taken from the May 1968 issue of Playboy (page 12).

We are unsure if that is her real name or her street name.  She knowingly gave Mr. Frog the H1N1 virus during anal intercourse for which Mr. Frog paid a nominal fee of $100 trillion Zimbabwean dollars (the equivalent of $90USD/$100CAD).

We weren't lying. This can buy you one stamp in Zimbabwe. Or a one night stand with Ms. Piggy in the U.S. Fortunately I'm a stamp collector.

We weren't lying. This can buy you one stamp in Zimbabwe. Or a one night stand with Ms. Piggy in America. Fortunately I'm a stamp collector. Note: I do not collect food stamps.

It has also been reported that she is now on the run from the law and had been seen driving a black hybrid Chevrolet Tahoe erratically late last night heading north to what we assume is the Canadian border.  The Canadian and American border patrols, the FBI, CIA, and local law enforcement agencies are on full alert to apprehend this criminal.

The RCMP are on full alert, as they are in the picture shown above. Canadians pride themselves on being green. The horses are highly fuel efficient and there feces can replace oil sludge, thus resulting in a car spin-out of the perpetrator's car. I love Canada.

The RCMP are on full alert, as they are in the picture shown above. Canadians pride themselves on being green. The horses are highly fuel efficient and there feces can be used as oil sludge, thus when ahead of a speeding car, the excrement is thrusted out of the horse's anus resulting in the perpetrator's car to spin-out and causes the windshield to be full of thick drooping poop. I hope you're listening major car companies.

If you see Ms. Piggy at any time, please do not approach her, she is considered ‘wild’ and dangerous and may pose a health and safety risk.  Please call 911 immediately.  We would like to send our condolences to Kermit’s friends, family, and his many many fans all over the world.  We have lost a great amphibian actor today.

You will be dearly missed.

You will be dearly missed.

Advertisements
  1. June 9, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    LMFAO!!!!
    I LOL’ed IRL.

    Oh man, Perminder, this was pure hilarity.

  2. Adrian
    June 9, 2009 at 10:59 PM

    LOL
    this post reeks of win.

  3. June 10, 2009 at 4:26 PM

    GASP! That trollop! I knew she was bad news ever since Time Magazine ran that story about her in the 70s, labelling her a karate champ with lavender gloves. Something tells me the Count was in on this. That blood sucker! I hope the authorities have his number too.

  4. Kermit's #1 Fan
    June 29, 2009 at 2:01 AM

    that ho! i knew she was trouble since the day i laid eyes on her. with her fake boobs and monthly lipos.

    oh kermit…why would you go out with a fatty like her *tear* RIP Kermit. RIP.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: