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Happi…ness?

I wrote this a couple months back. It was basically me talking to myself. In a sense that, “me” is the person that is conscious and “myself” is the person or double personality that roams my mind day in and day out; and so this is the conversation that then erupted from that. It’s really weird and sci-fi and is confusing when read quickly. Those that may have studied psychology may know exactly what’s going on.  This is the topic called… happiness.

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So what is it that you desire?
I don’t know.

Is there something you’ve always wanted?
Well yes, but it’s all been material.

Have you never tasted happiness?
I have.

What would make you happy?
I don’t know.

Look into yourself, what would make you smile forever?
I-I don’t know.

You see nothing?
I see nothing.

Would you like to have me?
…I…

Do you?
There was a time when I did. But you are no longer any worth to me.

Is that so? I cannot make you happy?
No you cannot.

Are so sure of that? I can fulfill all your desires.
Can you? Are you sure of that?

Yes I am.
Then why is that you threw me into inconceivable pain?

It was a test.
A test was it? A test that you failed?

This test was not aimed at me. it was aimed at you.
You fool, it was aimed at both of us.

I did not fail any test!
Ignorance has an end. You desired me.

You still want me don’t you?
I will only want you if you want me. Do you want me?

I do not want you.
Then you will never have me.

Do you not require happiness?
I have lived without inscrutable happiness, I can survive.

Do you have no desire to live?
I have every desire to live.

What is that desire?
To rule.

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