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Tough Time

This is a tough time for me right now…

My sister leaves in two days for medical school half a world away. Until this point, I’ve never felt the tiniest feeling of missing her. We’re the kind of siblings that never hug or say “I love you”, or maybe that’s common between siblings. We’re always rivals, on the surface we hate each other, but deep down, we really love each other.

I also know that I’ve hurt her in the past, and that I’ve never meant to do such a thing. I want to tell her that I’m sorry. I want to tell her so badly, that I’m going to miss her so much. And as her brother I want to hold her so much, because I won’t see her for perhaps a year. Or maybe loner. I worry for her and her safety in a completely new area, of which she knows little to nothing about.

I know that I’m an overprotective brother, although I control myself as to not meddle in her life. I know that if I were the one leaving, I wouldn’t feel anything of missing anyone or anything. But something tells me that she’s going to be quite sad, which can be understood.

I really don’t know how to convery my feelings to her right now. I keep telling her that I’ll tell her before I leave her at the airport. But I know that I’ll be such a coward that I won’t even say half the things I want to. I know what to do, but I can’t bring myself to it.

I wish her the best of luck in her studies and in her future, and to always keep in touch. Although I might not tell you in person, but hope that I do, I’m sorry for whenever I have hurt you. I never meant to, I’m sorry for March. Please forgive me.

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